I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
