my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My balls are so social today.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
