Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
