I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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