He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
