kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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