dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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