Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
