STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
