I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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