when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
