its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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