Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
