3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
