dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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