Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
