i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
