What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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