Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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