I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
