You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
