real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
