We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
