yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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