Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
