tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude. I can hear the air.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
