You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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