who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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