Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You're a waste of cheezeits
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
