I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
