Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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