I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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