Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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