Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
