he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
