True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
