I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
