That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
