my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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