You're so nebulous sometimes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
