ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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