I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
