Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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