Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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