Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
