Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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