Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
