doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
