How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
