What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
