May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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